Parenting teenagers is challenging enough, but when parenting ADHD adolescents is part of the equation, that challenge is almost always greater. As a psychologist who has tested, consulted and counseled for many years with ADHD teenagers and their parents, here are some thoughts, tips and encouragements (some light-hearted, some not so much). A general principal that runs through these suggestions is that neither adolescence nor ADHD are to be “fixed” or cured, but more to be experienced, processed and managed with understanding, support…and a healthy sense of humor.
General Survival Tips for Parenting ADHD Adolescent
Buy more liability insurance
Invest in the stock of your teen’s ADHD medication
Recommit to a life of prayer and regular church attendance
Have brochures of military schools on coffee table
Build your airline miles for parent trips only
Get over ethical concerns about bribing teachers
What To Expect from an ADHD Adolescent
Hormones and ADHD create confusing mix
Hyperactivity will likely diminish; inattention and impulsivity…not so much
Likely twists and turns on medications
Even more academic inconsistency
Higher risk for acting out behaviors including alcohol, drugs, sex
Lots of “knucklehead”moments
Entertainment, creativity, surprises
ADHD “spillovers” (emotional, social)
What To Try
Let go of control/power
Focus on influence that comes from relationship
Insist on physical activity
Pick fewer battles but hold forth on the few
Seriously reduce lecture, nagging, debating
Set clear expectations, limits and predictable consequences
Lose the emotional drama (yours, not theirs!)
Shorten list of things worth the battle
Work on your marriage
Don’t lose your own life/identity
Break negative cycle of behavior/response
Be open to creative options (with school, sports, activities)
Be intentional about finding “good news”
Help them find their gifts and talents
What To Remember
This is a season of life, not the rest of life
Adolescence for our kids recycles our teenage years
Goal is for them to leave home
Often parent/teen conflict is a good thing
Bridge to adulthood requires many travelers
Most likely, all will survive
If you’re parenting an ADHD adolescent, and you’d like to explore the ways you can better prepare for the associated challenges, contact Brentwood Counseling Associates and connect with one of our experienced therapists.