Essential Tips for Successfully Preparing Your Child for Kindergarten

The start of kindergarten can feel like a major milestone for many families. In my practice as a licensed child therapist, I’ve noticed that the transition to kindergarten is one of the biggest changes in early childhood. Many of the families I have worked with reported that their child struggled during that first year of elementary school. These parents felt isolated and overwhelmed by their child’s difficulties in transitioning to school. The good news is that there are several tools parents can use to help prepare their child for kindergarten early on, which I will cover here. I also write this as a message of hope for parents, reassuring them that it is completely normal for a child to struggle a little when starting school. Kindergarten is a big life event for young children. So, here are a few suggestions that you can start practicing with your child before their first day of school:

Tip #1 - Focus on Building Self-Regulation Skills

I like to use the analogy, “You can’t learn if your hair is on fire.” What this means is that our brain is unable to be curious or learn if it is emotionally overwhelmed. Parents can help build their child’s emotional regulation skills as early as 3 years old. You can set the stage for these early regulation skills through fun games such as blowing bubbles, playing red light-green light, Simon says, and freeze dance. You can also practice labeling your child’s emotions when you notice them. This provides an opportunity for building emotional literacy, and your child will later be better able to connect to their own emotions.

Tip #2 - Provide Opportunities for Social Skills

Your child doesn’t need to be enrolled in a preschool or daycare to build social skills or friendships. Children learn many social skills through play. Set up playdates with friends, join local clubs or groups, or even role-play certain social situations with your child. Any situation in which your child practices interacting with other children their age provides space for building social skills.

Tip #3 - Establish a Consistent Routine

About a month before school starts, establish a consistent daily routine. Include a bedtime and a morning routine that your child will follow during the school year (For example, first we get dressed, then we eat breakfast, and brush our teeth). If your child is naturally a late sleeper, the week before school starts, slowly increase their wake-up time to match when they will need to wake up for school (e.g., 5 days before, 40 minutes before the expected wake-up time; 4 days before, 30 minutes, etc.). You can even create a chart for your child to visualize their routine. Having a consistent routine will promote healthy sleep habits and help them adjust to what it will be like when school begins.

Tip #4 - Help Them Be Excited and Prepare Them for What to Expect

Kindergarten is a huge transition for most children. If your child isn’t currently attending a preschool or daycare, this will be the first time they are in an environment like this. Read stories or watch cartoons in which the character goes to kindergarten. Discuss with your child what that character might be feeling. Encourage pretend play in which your child practices saying “goodbye” to you and playing school. Children also do well when they are able to predict what might happen. If your school provides it, visit the school with your child and meet their teacher. If you are unable to do either of these, even taking your child outside the school building and showing them where they will go can be helpful in reducing any worries.

Tip #5 - Provide Space to Practice Age-Appropriate Independence

Many teachers I’ve worked with say they are surprised by how much support their kindergarten students need with hygiene skills. Help your child practice dressing and undressing themselves, especially with clothes that have buttons. Your child will likely need to use the bathroom and clean themselves without teacher assistance. Practice this at home, where your child buttons and unbuttons their pants after using the bathroom. Also, encourage them to practice putting on and taking off their own shoes. These are basic tasks that many parents overlook, but your child will need to do these independently when they are in the classroom, so it’s helpful to practice them ahead of time.

Accept That They Will Be Nervous

I’ve made this its own category so parents understand that it is completely normal and appropriate for your little kindergartener to feel nervous on their first day—or even their second day—of school. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that your child is ready, and you can handle any feelings they may have. Remind your child that “mommy/daddy/caregiver always comes back.” A small reminder from home, such as a note or a picture, can provide comfort throughout their day. Your child is ready for this, and so are you.

By: Adrienne Thompson

(A note from Adrienne: While it is completely developmentally appropriate for some children to regress in certain behaviors and express big feelings during the first few months of school, if these behaviors last more than about a month or increase in intensity, don’t hesitate to reach out for extra help. A therapist can help navigate these concerns through child therapy or parent support sessions.)